i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
