nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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