Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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