blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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