I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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