I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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