I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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