I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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