Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize