it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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