I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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