ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
