what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you never un-have a 4some
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
