I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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