Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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