He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
