Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
