WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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