I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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