awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Farmville is her only friend.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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