You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
