you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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