Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
