i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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