the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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