I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize