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• (330): View more from Ohio

  She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I thought Christmas was going to come before I did

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  someone was throwing condoms at us.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  no, they just magically show up around you.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

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