Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They are going to name an STD after you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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