Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...

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  (843): ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now... http://tfl.nu/ndt5
  Replies (15) Good night (2266) Bad night (919)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you

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  (917): i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you http://tfl.nu/qry0
  Replies (8) Good night (3695) Bad night (647)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

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  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (925) Bad night (4729)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone

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  (609): He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone http://tfl.nu/qd6w
  Replies (31) Good night (2279) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

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  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (17228) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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  (760): Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that http://tfl.nu/izum
  Replies (75) Good night (1003) Bad night (5834)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1297) Bad night (3535)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.

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  (612): i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited. http://tfl.nu/7k6j
  Replies (22) Good night (953) Bad night (8161)
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  (530): View more from California

  He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away

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  (530): He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away http://tfl.nu/6kvy
  Replies (20) Good night (1210) Bad night (5763)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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  (773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo
  Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.

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  (519): He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier. http://tfl.nu/icz2
  Replies (9) Good night (3690) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.

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  (414): This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick. http://tfl.nu/x6x1
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually

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  (931): i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually http://tfl.nu/wdhn
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...

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  (765): I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you... http://tfl.nu/t7gx
  Replies (2) Good night (927) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  "Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.

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  (307): "Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top. http://tfl.nu/hyqb
  Replies (1) Good night (299) Bad night (97)

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