Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs