I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
