u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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