I'm jealous of your bromance
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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