my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
