I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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