Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No stitches, just platelets and will power
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
