Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
