Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
