I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
