I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
