all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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