Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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