I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls