i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony