I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.