and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize