Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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