I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
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We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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