Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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