She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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