I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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