im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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