Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
