you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
