The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Will exercising make me less horny?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
