So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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