Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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