That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
