I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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