i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
