Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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