I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
