11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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